I realized a difficult truth about myself tonight. I realize that too a small degree I pet hoardhoard I go out and buy new animals soon after others pass away to not only fill in the gap of Missing animals but also because making or maintaining friendships with real people, due to my social anxiety and asperger like symptoms I bond with animals easily and seek their companionship to make up for the depression I feel for only having a a handful of close friends. Having lots of pets and loving them is not a bad thinner but when I am unemployed and seeking full time work to where I can only really afford housing needs and food but have issues with giving them medical attention if they need it is an issue. I am making myself not go out and find any more animals until I can take care of myself and get out of my mom's place. Having animals is not bad and I do car for them and love them like they are my own children but it can be a lot to deal with if one does not have all the proper resources they need, it's embarrassing to admit but hopefully I can just move on from this and try harder to make human friends