There is absolutely no reason in this world he can't help you with that housework. You deserve more then being the maid. It is not woman's work it is human work. If he isn't willing to help he is showing you absolutely no consideration. Most of the relationships that I have witnessed both partners shared in the household chores. This includes my in-laws, my mom-in-law never worked, was a full time stay at home mom but my dad-in-law helped her around the house doing dishes and such. It is his home and he should help take care of it.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to change him. He has it good right now, why would he want to change it? Sure he probably doesn't like the fights but he can work his way around that. BUT you can change yourself. You can choose how you want to be treated and demand that you be treated that way. The downside to this is that you may have to choose to walk out the door. You indicated that this is not an acceptable option. You could use passive/aggressive options. I bet you do all the laundry, right? What happens if he doesn't have any clean clothes? I mean there is no reason you have to put his laundry in the washer when you are doing yours and the kids. What about his stuff that he leaves around the house? I am just guessing he does this, I know my husband used to complain about the mess when I was really depressed and not doing my share of the housework, but I would look around and find his stuff laying around with everybody else's. If he has stuff lying around just throw it in a pile in the corner of the room. It will drive him up the wall. (My husband used this tactic a couple of times with me until he realized just how badly I was doing)

A warning: this will start major tensions in the family. It is not the best way to handle the situation. I truely would suggest that you get a therapist for yourself so you can work out your feelings about this situation and why you believe that you are incapable of taking care of yourself on your own (I believe any woman can fend for herself but most of us have been duped into believing we can't but I am a woman's libber so my opinions are quite strong on the subject having been one of those who were duped) and also get into couple's therapy so that you do have a safe place to talk about your differences. DO NOT GET THERAPY THROUGH THE CHURCH. That is just my prejudice because a old friend of mine did that and even though she suspected that he was sexually abusing her child the church convinced her that is was not her place to go against her husband's wishes. That she was the wife, she should stay home, do all the work and not speak back to her husband. She has become a second class citizen. I am quite bitter about that because I can see her pain.
Carrie

PS I appologize for speaking so strongly. It is just a subject that is close to my heart. Women deserve to be treated as equals. When drudgework is designated as women's work and we are required to do it free of pay then it demeaning us, making us less then we truely are. We are strong people, we are good people, we deserve to be treated well. Abolish woman slavery, it go goes on even today in countries all around the world including the United States of America. *Carrie quietly steps down from her soapbox and walks from the room*

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson