A "penetration tester", LOL

Thanks guys, what you say really makes sense. I get too overwhelmed with all this rejection and I don't see what I ought to see. It becomes so hard to focus on anything else when there is a glaring problem like a red flashing light on a car dashboard. But, you guys are right, I do have the ability to do all that. I wish I could find it easier to look past all these bad experiences and more quickly too, because all it does is hold me back.

Oh yeah, and I am thinking of the next "Bill Gates" thing, OK, not in computers but in another field. I was really shy as a kid, but something in me is making me feel I wish to be someone well-known one day, someone who made some really amazing contribution to the world.

I think all of this stems from childhood self-esteem degradation I experienced at home and at school. I think I have some really deep-seated issues with people in general, and maybe I shouldn't deal with them directly, but in an indirect manner by doing something which might benefit people one day, and in doing so win "fans".

It's true what you say DIMF, I was reading another post of yours and it's like you say, I know a random sphere of people and then people whom I do "business" with (which would be my colleagues in my case). I can really draw a parallel between your social life and mine. There is a pervasive lack of intimate relationships as such in my life.

I know people at shops, shop owners where I buy things and people in general. Then there are my colleagues where we discuss work-related issues and we exchange information.

It is just sad to me that I'll never mean more to someone than either a regular customer (or regular face that occurs on a regular place where they are) or a person whose brain people can pick for solutions to problems, or someone who solved a problem. The whole other spectrum of relationships will probably remain closed to me for the rest of my life. Oh well.