Yes, probably. I think the different experiences I had has damaged me to such an extent that I cling to things I feel I can do right, just because I've failed at everything else.

I can't seem to work out if my dad is narcissistic or not, but when I was young, I felt pretty useless and inferior, and his friends reinforced that in me by constantly reminding me (they were all drunk 95% of the time). Everything I've learnt I've basically had to teach myself or learn the hard way. People had no problem showing me the hard way either, while they triumph at how easy life was for them, and point out how much of an idiot I am.

I used to feel constantly humiliated as a child, rejected, so I distanced myself from other children over time and I've created a life per my own definitions on my own terms and I did not include them or anyone else in it. I am truly sorry if that did create a perception of arrogance in others. But, that's me, I don't ask anything from anyone anymore, because I used to get humiliation and betrayal every time. I trust only me now.

The one person whom I especially ask nothing from is my dad, I remember as a boy asking him for help with things and his subsequent disgusting remarks and utter disdain at the apparent "effort" involved, and the inconvenience my request was causing him. I was about 10 at the time. From that day I vowed never to ask him anything in my life ever again. With other people I had similar experiences, I was always an "inconvenience" to everyone, so I decided I was not going to be one anymore, and did everything I could do on my own, on my own since then.