The first time I tried to kill myself I was 5. I had witnessed my Dad have a brain hemorrhage (he lived) when I was a toddler and it had been explained to me that you can die "if the blood rushes to your head"

I remember hanging upside down over the edge of my bed until my face red and pulsing trying to die.

It was ridiculous and of course not what they meant, but I didn't know that and the intent and determination were there.

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