Just made 31 days sober, and I want to throw it away. Swirling around with bipolar and all the other nonsense going on in my head, this is something that pills can't help me with. I am bored, alone and craving.

I look over the minutia of my life and I wonder what's the point. What's the point in trying to say sober, to try and lose weight, find a job or anything. There is no point to anything. Drowning in a deep abyss. I just want to matter. To someone, anyone. Lost, broken. Heartache, Heartbreak.

Just a mountain. The mountain is too high to climb....