RiverX...Your response is interesting and insightful, showing that you have great empathy and self-examination.
I want to explain why I posted the "poopooh" about 12 step groups:
I was introduced to AA when, shortly after my divorce, I became foolishly involved with a man who lived near the little house I had bought from the divorce settlement. So happy to be free, I was not in the least interested in meeting a man. This fella, much younger than me, seemed to be outside my house ALL the time, and began pursuing me romantically. I actually told him several times to stay away from me, but having been in an emotionally sterile marriage (brother/sister) relatiolnship for 20 years, I succumbed to his advances. I listened to his sob story of alcoholism/addiction and recovery. He was living with his parents at the time in my subdivision, and recovering from hospitalization from alcohol poisoning. I had never been around such an addict before, and had no idea of the ramifications. I began driving him to AA meetings, and sitting in as a guest. I was impressed by his eloquence...He realliy knew how to "talk the talk!"
He was age 32 and I was 47, and he was highly sexual toward me. Having been deprived of this all my adult life, I now realize how vulnerable I was. Before I knew what was happening, he had moved out of his parents' house and into mine. Yeah...I know now how stupid this was, but he was so persuasive, and even his mother told me, "homeless alocholics are very good at finding places to live!" I continued to drive him to AA meetings, listening to his spheel (sp?)...Soon, though, within a month, he was stealing from me, ultimately to the tune of around $20,000.
I kicked him out and he began stalking me...his "supply!"
It was not only drinking, but crack use, and though I contacted the police many times, they were ineffective till he broke into my house one night with a gun and tried to shoot me. I escaped, and the police came in SWAT fashion, arresting him. The gun had jammed.
He went to jail, then prison, then probation. Now he is back in AA talking the talk. I'm soured on AA because of this.
I did attend CODA for a while, but found that too to be people talking the talk....me...me...me!
I do know that my stalker character is still attending AA, though I am not the only one he has conned. Another male member revealed to me after the stalkng/gun incident that this young man had moved into his house, being homeless, only to seduce his wife. Despite this behavior, he is still free to attend AA...the revolving door.
Patty