Hi Chummy. I had a depressive episode around the same length as yours. I've been on meds that seem to be helping since around March or April. I've found that I started to feel better, but I can feel my brain changing a little bit almost week by week. My brain sort of felt exhausted and like it had been beaten up, and now it is starting to heal.

I have seen changes like much improved sleep, and I have gone from thinking about SI every day to rarely thinking about it. My feelings about being alive and about the future seem to fluctuate. Sometimes I think it's good, a lot of the time I'm not sure, and sometimes I find it hard to imagine the future.

I am taking my meds and going to therapy and working on trying to eat regular meals and keep a regular schedule.

I'm on disability, so I don't have a job, so I've been trying to structure my day a bit. That seems to help my mood.

Can you think of any things that you are wanting to do again or are interested in again that you weren't six months ago?

Did you have a good "baseline" personality and mood before you started having problems with depression? If you did, sometimes you can compare with that.

I'd be curious to know how good your mood has to be before your doctor decides to stop changing your antidepressant dosage. I find after a long depressive episode, it's sort of like coming home after a vacation to find that someone has broken in and wrecked your house. There's an awful lot of work to be done putting things back together.