I know when I'm feeling good, because I would be having a good day or a good time. There had been times when it seems like I should be having a good time and I don't feel so good. I could be having a great time with a friend and then I would feel anxious, like the sky will fall any minute now. Sometimes at those moments I feel like I would have to rush home to hear any messages that were left for me. Because I expect some bad news. But it would not happen. Believe it or not, there are times when I felt better when something bad happened than when something good happened.

Whenever I feel great, I always feel suspicious. It feels like it's not normal to feel good. When I feel good, I'm feeling like I'm being "emotionally" conceited.