Aloha Mimsy,

My depression symptoms are similar and I too have had nervous system complications from medications. (Parkinson's) I would encourage you to see a good psychiatrist to find some relief. Proper sleep is also critical for me to reduce the depressive symptoms as much as possible.

My psychiatrist also insisted I be seen by an endocrinologist and a neurologist where it was discovered that I had medical conditions which has contributed to the severity of my depression. A truly competent psychiatrist can see the big picture and work with you & other physicians to achieve the best possible outcome for you as a individual.

Best wishes, I too live with a false smile and cheery attitude (on the outside) everyday... It gets a bit old after a few decades!