I'm no psychologist, but I believe that part of the passive-aggressive behavior thing is that the person doing the behaviors may not realize on a conscious level that's what's going on. They honestly believe that "it's all your/our fault" for nagging, not being satisfied with anything they do, being paranoid/possessive. Not a lot of great reflection/personal insight on their part on how they feed into the relationship dynamic.

So sorry about the mean neighbor. It's a wonder the police, etc., respond to his phone calls at all.