I just wanted to say thank you for all the insight. First a huge thank you to 90Confused! I never considered that I was looking at my friend as a mirror! When I read your reply, I was floored. Hit the nail on the head, so again thank you!

Now some clarification, I came clean and told my wife everything over a month ago. It devistated her pretty bad. Prior to this I have never so much as kissed a girl on the cheek. My friend and I formed a bond from being so much alike and so much in common. My wife is a very strong person and has stood beside me through figuring our what is wrong with me.

I am a good man who made a mistake that almost cost me my family. I am not using my illness as an excuse, but more as means of opening my eyes. Until I started to be medicated I just went along life just confused and always doing for very one else and hiding my truest feelings because they were ever changing. When I started to level out I saw thst I was unhappy at home and wanted more but I was not sure or strong enough to admit it to myself and talk to my wife. I went looking for someone I could relate to. Her and I were good friends for 7 months before it turned into more.

When I left home "to be alone" I realized where my heart was and started to seek therapy. As I did it just seemed like each of my therapist (4total) just said it was wrong and I should just walk away from my friend. I know it's wrong and I want to work on my marriage but I just feel like she might fall apart without me because outside of her therapist, she has nobody. No family and hardly no friends.

So I really want to be honest with everyone, I am a good person who was & is confused, I understand I made a huge mistake and I'm very remorseful. I know I need to let my friend go that's obvious but I just don't know how to do it. My wife says she can't help me do that but until then she will love and support me so long as I'm working to get my friend out of our lives. I don't see her anymore but I do communicate with her via email just to check in to make sure she is ok.

So if someone has del with letting someone go that is the help I need. My guilt is killing me because my wife is so hurt but loves me enough to help me through this and I feel like I'm disrespecting her all over again because I can't figure out how to let go without caring that guilt as well.

Let me end by saying that I have told my wife that I love her every day and that I will spend the rest of my life making this right. I also told her I will never ask her to forgive me because I don't think I can ever forgive myself.

Thank you all for you stern yet honest words and advice.