no prob, i am glad you reminded me of this... i rewatched the bbc doc and cried. masha is so much like i was, as a child...

i was abused, also, but the abandonment and not having anyone there (due to adoption) is way harder... masha was lucky in that she had one caring adult connection prior to adoption so i cant imagine how difficult it must be to have an older child who hadnt received the same support (albeit no where near enough).

i think that most parents do not know what they are getting into. our societies do not teach about attachment or empathy or anything like that.

even with most of my therapists i have learned to focus on the type of trauma that i think they want to hear about. as a child i learned to appreciate the abuse because at least then someone was there....

anyway, this probably isnt helping you. though if i can cry now watching the doc, i have changed. i was adopted younger but there were many issues in my adoptive family...

life is so unfair.

oh well. i am glad your son has you.