Eden, I'm sorry you are in pain. Something that helps me is being compassionate with myself. When I'm feeling bad I know I can't do certain things very well, so I forgive myself if I can't. Trusting can be very hard. You can't do it all at once. It means more than telling someone a bunch of stuff. You can do that without really trusting them. If you can't talk it's ok, just try to be there with them the best you can. Hear what they have to say. If you can accept it or do what they say, great, but if you can't, that's ok too. Just give them the chance. That's the beginning of trust, being with someone and listening. Freedom is important in relationships. If you can't say something or do something because of how you feel it's ok. Sometimes it's good to tell someone something even if you are scared or embarrassed, but other times it's ok to wait. A lot of times just talking about anything, even the weather, helps. I know you are scared, but try to forgive yourself. You don't feel good, so you can't do things like you normally would. It's ok. You are in enough pain, don't be hard on yourself. If you can take some pressure off of yourself you will have more energy to deal with things you can't control. Things can get better. You are a lovable person.