I know. I've been trying to find a doctor willing to help me, still no luck. I've read lots of people's stories of trying to get off of them and having to take years just to finally be able to do so. As for the drinking, I've only been drinking like this the last two weeks. Before then, I barely drank more than one drink because it usually made me sick feeling too fast or too sleepy too fast. I had stomach surgery, so alcohol affect me a lot differently now. Anyways. The 4 pill night, that's why I was really upset because I didn't remember taking one and my anxiety would go up and I'd assume I'd got distracted and I'd get another. I've never drank to the extent I'm currently drinking even before surgery. I've been drinking to try to avoiding needing to take one. My boyfriend now hides my bottle when I drink so I don't do that again. I've never intentionally abused them.

It's okay. I'm trying, once again, to find a t. I'm going to try to use just my private insurance and try to see if I can afford $100-$125/month in copayments, if it's only once a week therapy.

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