Okay, so this has been going on for several months, almost 5 months now and I am really concerned about myself. So it all started a couple of months after I found out my ex was cheating on me. Her brother told me about it and I have avoided the subject since. Back then, it was just simple depression, and I eventually worked through it and thought it was done and over with. However, just 5 months ago, I felt a change in myself. I became more paranoid of everything, especially mirrors and every little noise I hear. I also noticed that I will occasionally hear a voice that mimics the voices of friends of mine. This rarely happened until just this week, but I will get to that soon. The depression came back 5 months ago, however, I had no reason to be sad this time. And along with that came an anger I had never felt before, as if I was a completely different person. I am really scared about this. And the voice thing I mentioned earlier came back and I heard "wouldn't it be better if they were all dead?". To this day, it still nags at me. I feel like I am insane, so I stay away from everyone. I have also been thinking my only way to free myself from all of this is suicide, now this part is nothing new at all. I have had random points in my life where I thought about suicide since I was 7, and
. The memory of that is still a little hazy, but I remember how I wasn't strong enough to go through with it. Eventually, one of my teachers took the jacket away from me and handed it over to my mom who threw it away because she thought it was cursed or something. I have also become increasingly "jumpy" and I think it's some sort of anxiety or something. i also took the sanity quiz and it gave me a score of 145 with a total of 11 serious issues. This all has affected me so much that not even sleep, my only escape from the world, can help. Every horrible feeling in my waking life is now haunting me at night, as well as day. I'm scared to sleep these days. I even bought some dream catchers hoping they would help. Nothing. Please, for god sake, please tell me what's wrong with me