Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
The actual diagnosis isn't really the issue. People with as little as one symptom can be awful, people with many can be terrific.
It sounds like she is about 30. At that age, having children now is not a pressing biological issue for most women. Even if you were to marry her now, my thought would be to wait for a bit on children. Once there are children, you are permanently tied to her (whether or not married). It isn't known, I expect, how she will react to having children. I imagine it would, at a minimum, raise issues of childhood trauma. I wonder what her therapist would say about her having children right away.
It is also interests me that your friend isn't willing evidently to accrpt the therapist's modest advice of waiting a few more months.
No matter how good things are, you are hesitant. I would suggest giving strong consideration to that voice that is telling you to wait.
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And thank you again. I have not asked the therapist about how children would affect things (that is, in relation to her childhood trauma).
She is 33 actually. Still not pressing biologically in my opinion. I think she wants children in part to fulfill the need to have a loving family that will not abandon her, which she did not have growing up. Whether this is a good reason to have children or not I am not sure.
The voice (which is my own) is saying to wait. Can't really go against that.
If she is unwilling to wait, and I am unwilling to marry and have children on her timeline, then perhaps it is up to her if she ends this or not.