(((((((( dorsey555 ))))))))))
im sorry for your loss. it is very hard to loose someone you love and care about. and grief is just the hang over from all the shock. but you are not alone in any of this. and you are not the most messed up person...we just think that for reassurance. maybe getting in to work will help you be concentrated. i wish you the best.
be strong and take good care of yourself