Welcome to Psych Central, and congratulations on taking the first steps to deal with your issues.

I, too, prefer a female counselor, preferably one close to me in age, as I have found that younger ones are clueless about the problems of aging.

The first one you interview is not always the right one for you. If you have health insurance, there may be a list in your booklet of system providers. In my Yellow Pages, therapists are listed under Counselors, Psychological Therapists, and Psychotherapists.

Psych Central has a page where you can type in your zip code to find a counselor, http://psychcentral.com/resources/

Accessible through the mental health link on the page above is this page that includes many articles about what psychotherapy is, types, and so forth.

http://www.aboutpsychotherapy.com/

As you investigate the resources here at PC, you will find out everything you want and need to know.

Best wishes for making your marriage work and healing yourself.