ty for your response, I am actually seeing a psychiatrist as well as a counselor at a woman's domestic violence facility, for years i have put the sexual and abusive past on he back burner and spent the ext 20+ years trying to be a "normal person" unfortunately i went from one type of abusive situation to another My husband has been verbally, emotionally and sometime sexually abusive as well as a manipulator and alcoholic for years. My therapist told me it was time to put me on the front burner and deal with the demons head on and that is what i am trying to do but it is very hard and very painful