I wish I knew how to help. ThingWithFeathers is right about seeking help... possibly you already have. I have very similar issues (voices, suicidal tendencies since childhood, anxiousness, etc.) if that helps any. Sleep used to be the escape for me... doesn't work now... nightmares... the hardest part are the anxiety attacks that always wake me up... I'm not nearly as paranoid as I was, though. I know it probably doesn't help, but I wanted to let you know I am thinking about you... and (i hope this isn't offensive or triggering) I'm praying for you.(It used to be a huge trigger when people told me they were praying for me.)