Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Worth It
Integration is a process that happens when the original "self" is actually ready to throw off the coping mechanism that was employed in childhood as a necessary tool for survival and protecting the "self" from overwhelming experiences.
It is a scary process and more so for the alters because they think they are "going away". They will resist it and You will feel as though you're being set back at times. There will be anxiety and depression for certain alters at certain times because they don't really understand what's happening. You'll need to remind them that they played an important part for you and that they have memories and experiences that you want to have for yourself too now. Good and bad.
being aware of all traumatic /memories from the gaps throughout my life -- Integration cannot happen if this doesn't happen. You/the self, has to see, hear, experience and finally accept all those things as the self comes forward. Integration happens when the mind of the "dissociated self" is strong enough to handle the truth. It also can't happen until the "self" accepts that she/he is a "survivor" and not a victim anymore and that those things cannot happen again. She/he has the power now.
As the integration progresses, various diagnoses will be adjusted. It is likely that the DID diagnosis will be removed, however, you may be left with depresssion for quite some time. The DID will probably become C-PTSD - Complex PTSD for a while. That is, flashbacks, anxiety will exist with a milder form of dissociation at least. It is likely you would experience flashbacks for many more years but you will learn, if you haven't already, how to ground yourself and manage all that. The closer you get to being fully integrated, the easier it will be.
I wish you all the best. Be good and kind to YOURSELF and your alters.
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with .......Some ......people yes it happens this way but this is not how it happened with me....
many of my alters integrated before I aware of the traumatic memories that were associated with those alters. I only gained back the memory of those traumas .....After.....integration..
it was only ...After ....integration that I was able to work on those traumatic memories....
there is a condition with DID called Co consciousness. that is the ability to know what the alters know, know the alters exist, hear the alters, feel the alters...
many people with DID do not have co consciousness. one of the symptoms and diagnostics with DID is having memory problems around traumatic events (some locations call this dissociative amnesia, memory gaps, time loss...there are many names for this...)
if someone who is DID has little to no co consciousness then they do not know those trauma's that are stored with in the alters memories usually but not always until that alter has integrated or the alter itself has healed and has chosen to share that memory..
in cases of little to no co consciousness working with the alters on those traumatic memories (ie establishing communication sharing/remembering traumas, working on those trauma's) is not always possible. so instead the treatment focuses in what is called natural integration. ...which is teaching the one who is most aware (alter or body person) to become more able to handle their problems with out the use of dissociation. As the alter or body person takes over each alters job, purpose reason for being (whether they realize that alter exists or not, whether or not they can feel the alter, whether or not they know those trauma's the alters know) the alters naturally integrate become one with the body person or the alter most in control.
once that happens even if the alters have merged with one main alter the whole system in no longer diagnosed DID due to the diagnostics require two or more alters,
integration of DID type alters is not like in the movies where you see the body person reacting in great pain. its just like a normal person remembers memories, and such. your location and treatment providers may go according to what you posted but mine and the treatment providers around here do not.
here in my location DID does not become or morph into another mental disorder. I know many people who have undergone integration and once that was done they were no longer diagnosed with any mental disorders at all. the integration of all alters made them more stable more healthy, less disordered and no longer mentally disordered.
I do have mental disorders even after integration but its not because my DID changed into other mental disorders, in fact all the mental disorders I used to have are now cleared up so that I now only have less than a handful of diagnosis, most of my problems are now due to things like work related PTSD, Bipolar disorder (which I already had since childhood) Multiple Sclerosis (something I was born with and presents itself in adulthood) Seasonal depression (which i had since a child and before integration)
before I was integrated I was listed as PTSD from sexual abuse, panic anxiety disorder, schizo affective, psychosis, seasonal depressive, Major depressive disorder, selective mutism, borderline personality disorder, advoidant personality disorder,learning disordered, .....
in short all these were cleared up simply buy canceling out each other for example one alter would be diagnosed advoidant personality disordered but once that one integrated with an alter who was actually very social and outgoing and promiscuous that evened out both of them to be normal non dissociative disordered other than being alters, then they merged with me so that made them no longer alters (no longer DID, and no longer Advoident personality disordered, no longer so socially acting out in promiscuous ways)
what Im saying is my integration and all others that I know that integrated did not involve all that you posted simply because it was not possible due to my not having a great amount of co consciousness and not having access to those trauma memories associated with the alters. i and all those I know that went through integration it was more natural and not painful.