welcome mommieB you feel like you are losing it, but in fact your son is in safe, loving hands. the epic programs and loving family behind this young man. is the best medicine to help him along this path in life ...I have a 35yo son with bipolar 1 and we are still and will forever be on this really bumpy path.. many days we become really frustrated, angry, and a whole lot more x-rated feelings.For me when I get angry,you know feelings like "throw him out of the house" it helps for me to keep reminding myself that this is a severe mental illness. and his brain is really "broken" and he needs every bit of help we can give him. you should try nami family to family groups for yourself...it saved me big time I thought I was heading for a nervous breakdown...you are not alone...Geesh, there are almost 60 thousand people on this web-site alone You are doing a great job, really. stairway