The recurring point that I so strongly agree with and have felt for so many years is the hatred of "having to be" "at" work. Due to my disability, I encounter no shortage of difficulty performing most any task and working long hours (10+ hr days) completely fries my brain and makes me useless. Even a standard 40 hour week makes me absolutely miserable.

As I said though, it's not even the work itself that I hate so much as having to physically be there. Going through the motions of having to wake up early, drive to/from work, and rot for 8 hours behind a desk while barely making more than minimum wage is hell. I busted my *** all through school to get As and always put in my best effort, but, due to my disability, the only kind of jobs I can get are ones that I could've had if I dropped out of high school.

Even if I were more successful and had work that paid more, I may be less depressed, but I think I'd still hate the condition of being at work just as much. Eating away at me the whole time I'm there is the thought of better things I could be doing with my time - hiking with my dog, spending more time at the shelter where I volunteer, or just catching up on some good reading or sleep. I know it's not realistic to be able to just do whatever you want all day, as earning a wage is part of being an adult. Knowing that it's normal and knowing that it's compulsory doesn't make me despise it any less though.