Starting to, anyway. Stopped taking half my Effexor - I believe that's the one that's been making me so drowsy, which leaves me feeling more depressed. I know I shouldn't make such decisions, but I couldn't keep going like this until I see the doctor's NP for my follow-up appointment. Feeling so crappy all the time only lead me to "escape" thoughts, so halfing it on my own can't get me any worse off.

I'm thinking about asking my RA to keep my meds and only have about 2 days' worth on me at any time. Everytime I see those bottles I'm so tempted to swallow them all as if they were no big deal. But I know better than that, I know I probably wouldn't succeed (because I theorize God isn't done with me and would prevent me), and I don't want the consequences that would have on school - which I pretty much like. But I don't know if I can get myself to give them up, or give up my thoughts, a large part of me wants to hold on to them, kinda hoping for their use.
I don't know. It's depressing.