Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosebud1963
Long story.
My ex and I divorced 6 yrs ago after he cheated. I never stopped loving him but I remarried he also remarried (same girl he cheated with). I'm now divorced again and started hanging out w my ex because of our kids. This started us having an affair after 6 years apart..He knows however I still love him and he says and I believe he cares about me and is very attracted to me. I want more and he says he can't just leave his wife because of guilt. I stress him out by always asking for help advice ect. I don't want to push him away but I cont. too nag, as he says. I feel I'm just looking for hope. What I don't understand is why he cont. to let our affair go on if I stress him out so much and he feels so guilty toward both us. What brought us back together (meaning the affair) was when I went through my 2nd divorce he helped me leave my 2nd husband who was an pill addict. He started off helping me because of our kids but that is what brought us close again and the affair started. I feel to weak to end it but I know if he cared he wouldn't put me through this.
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It's difficult because he loves you and cares about you. But, he has to do "the right thing" because he is married to another woman. He asks you to stop nagging because he knows what it's all about and telling him and reminding him is not helping, he already knows, he said himself, he feels guilty. It's like when you know you have to do some work on something and people keep reminding you you have to do it. It just increases guilt. He is not trying to be mean, he is just trying to work it out and needs a clear mind without reminding. Men are that way, when we want to work stuff out we don't want extra information constantly, we just want to process what we have at that moment. Yes, he does care about you if I look at it.