i do feel alone right now because ive been too afraid to express my feelings to my boyfriend without being in a therapy session together, and he skipped out on thw last one he promised to go to. So Im literally stuffing my feelings down right now and he has NO IDEA what Im feeling or how severe the situation is.

I do believe in spiritual connections. Why is it that we can click and feel like we could grow old together, and then feel so alienated at others? I dont know what it is, I feel like Ive known him forever. Im not just trying to make excuses for him, but he is a very good person despite his emotional issues he fails to deal with. He knows what he is doing is wrong. I know he is remorseful to the point of hating himself for his emotional outbursts, but he ignores his issues because he isnt strong enough to deal with them. Which is a never ending cycle of stuff down the hurt until you blow up, then accumulate more hurt because youve now hurt your loved one. I suppose it is a flaw on my part for wanting to be the person he can help himself finally to be with. I would like to think I mean enough to him that he would find the power within himself to start to work on his issues, but i cant make him want to. I have to at least make sure he understands what it is I need and expect from him and if he cant do it it wont matter how much we love each other. Its all just very sad.

I have an issue where i feel like I.would be abandoning him. His other relationships have failed probably because of his verbal abuse and i dont want him to end up alone its so heartbreaking to imagine because I love this man and see all of his good and worthly qualities and want him to be happy. ive tried so hard. I dont know.