I still have hard time understanding how you can say he is this wonderful boyfriend and some kind of spiritual connection and what not when what you described is pretty darn awful!

If that's good in your books I am afraid to think what you consider to be bad relationship!

You are probably afraid to be alone and find all kind of excuses to stay with a man who makes you feel suicidal. I suggest you seek therapy but for yourself. You need to figure out why you not only stay with abusive boyfriend but find excuses for him.




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