Hi Hun.

It's important to understand that we all have different views and feelings about how we view these situations. For whatever reason, your negative views on what happened with something that you had nothing to do with, has been cause for you to take your anger out on people that have different feelings and ideals about that issue. It is imperative to remember that we are all different and although there are some a--holes (you B-I-L) in this world that OBVIOUSLY will never have the full respect of a woman because he doesn't quite understand the idea of give and take...we have to sometime let the leash out a little because not all people in other relationships see these things as taboo or not allowed.

We need to respect that we have to allow for some slight indescretions...how many times have you checked out another man's body?? I can guarantee you that your husband does it to other woman and probably flirts sometimes too. Those are 'allowable indescretions'. Well when we get with friends, we are always slightly poorly behaved and do things that we shouldn't. We do it, the partner may find out that we 'mooned a cop' or something but we need to choose to either get past that or let it eat us alive forever.

So far you have allowed something that probably lasted all of 30 seconds to destroy this whole first phase of your marriage...which should be the best...why? This isn't about his lapdance...it's about YOUR PTSD (death of YOUR friend) and YOUR own esteem issues...not about HIS strippers in HIS lap....nor his brother being disrespectful to you.

If you know he loves and respects you, you know that he didn't reciprocate on what the dancers were doing,,,so why is this bothering you so much? Because something has changed within you. You always had the jelousy and esteem issue in you...it just took a traumatic event to bring it out. The death of your good friend showed you just how quickly all of your precious life's work and loved one's could be taken from you and therefore, now you feel that a something as quick and simple as a ***** that sells her body by dancing on men's laps can steal your husband.... It's not going to happen hun! And you know that.....

Please get yourself to a therapist ASAP. The longer you let the PTSD go without treatment the worse it gets.

ABT