Sorry I'm late in the story to all that has happened with you Pink. What happened with your ex-t though? Mine totally ****ed me over. Abandoned me. Brought up the most traumatic wound there is for me and did nothing about my cries for help. Even almost died cause of it. So I may not understand totally how you feel, I don't even know what happened. But I might understand a little bit. I hope you are getting help now and taking care of yourself. For me, it took going into the hospital for a while. Then they make you set up appointments from there before you get out. I have come a long way since then (this was Dec '14). Now I'm going to school to get a degree and have finally begun to let myself enjoy life a little more. I even felt happiness for the first time in so long yesterday. I still need help, I may always because I have a disease. But I feel I am strong enough - at least stronger than I was - to handle it better now. I'm just now realizing how much the pain of the past 3 years has meant for me, and how much beauty can come of it. I'm beginning to see the beauty finally begin to blossom, and finally believe there are positive things in store for me because I have suffered.

You may not be where you want to be yet (and maybe you don't know where you want to be, or even believe you want to be anywhere and that's okay), but you will be. You will get there. Don't give up on yourself. You are not hopeless, no situation is hopeless so long as you are still breathing. So just keep breathing! Sending <3 and hugs.