Quote:
Originally Posted by Nike007
Hello. If you have read some of my other post, you may know a bit about my mom (not in this section). Let me just explain to you a bit about my mom.
My mom doesn't appear to believe in mental health, so if I told her this, she would think I was crazy or something. I feel she likes me less and feels it's "all in my head" for having anxiety issues.
Next, she believes she is better than basically everyone. She makes many enemies because she doesn't like what they did to her and would never forgive them for previous mistakes.
Next, she wants people to follow what she does. She is very controlling and if someone doesn't do what she wants, she can get very angry.
Next, she appears to have a lack of empathy for people. She has a rare disease and if anyone said something that is causing them stress, she'll just say "well at least you don't have my condition".
My mom only wants money really. My mom asks my dad for too much money in my opinion. My dad has to bribe her with paying her more money to see me and my siblings. She has finally said no in some sense, but wants more money and to see my siblings and I basically full time.
I feel my mom thinks she is the best person in the world and if anyone says otherwise, she will hate them. She is "always right".
That's a bit about my mom for you.
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Sounds a lot like my mother with the exception of the empathy part. That's the one narcissistic my nurse mother did NOT have, although she could become hardened to someone she came to define as an "enemy." And she always did have to have a nemesis. Even though I could have gladly hung her neck a lot of the time, we were also very close and she was a delight to be around when she was in a good mood. But as I'm sure you know too well, it was impossible to predict when those would and wouldn't come.
My mother passed away in '08 and I'm just beginning to get over losing her. She was the last family member I had left and as I said, despite our frequent tiffs, I loved her dearly and we were extremely close.
The best advice I can give you is to forget any efforts at getting her to change. It's highly unlikely that she will. She'll probably even give up a relationship with you rather than confront her "illness." Instead, just realize that she is sick and there's nothing you can do for her. All you can do is prevent her from causing damage (any more than she already has) to you. The most important way to do this is to create boundaries and do not, for any reason, allow her to cross them, unless you have no choice (such as live at home). If she begins to berate you or someone else, walk away, turn on the TV, or find some way to ignore her. Narcissists, at least my mother, will modify their behavior if the tactics they're using aren't working. But most of all, never forget that she is sick and because of her sickness is unable to behave like she undoubtedly would were she not sick. Use as much behavior modification on her as you can. In other words, do not support her negative behavior and do support positive behavior. Otherwise, you're going to be very unhappy. Good luck to you!