She's choosing the other guy over you. So while she says she loves you.... she obviously, in actuality, loves him more. There is NOTHING holding her in that relationship - they don't have kids. It's a choice, that she is making, and has made repeatedly.

What the two of you are doing is wrong - it isn't fair to her fiance, even if he's a jerk. It isn't fair to you either, because you're being strung along and actually making statements about how you aren't sure how to go on in life without her.

It sounds like she is using you for emotional gratification, and her fiance for more physical intimacy. That's so not fair to either of you men.

Have you noticed that in your posts, you're using a lot of words that place all the responsibility on something that isn't you or her? "can't" and "being kept together" "being slammed back together" "have to"....

All of those? That's finding excuses to alleviate any guilt over the fact that you're having an affair with her... and it's pushing the responsibility of making decisions away. Which is a total lie - you BOTH make decisions and choose to do what you do. Those are active decisions that you make - it's not some outside force. It's all you. You choose not to leave. You choose to be at her beck and call. You choose to not respect your friend. She chooses to take advantage of you. She chooses to take advantage of the other guy. She chooses to remain with him.

Those are active choices, you see. Both of you need to own those choices, because that will make it easier to decide what to do about it, because you each have more choices to make.