I worked the overnight shift last night again. I had a good time. Up until around 3 AM, I wasn't really all that happy with it; we had some difficult new patients earlier in the night, and then I wasn't so sure about the people I was working with...they are both super confident individuals and I think my insecurity annoyed them. One of them told me that they (they are genderqueer and prefer they/them/their pronouns) are bipolar; I want to ask them when they take their meds. That is one thing that has been tricky for me. I used to take them when I went to bed. But now I go to bed at all different times. I'd just take them at the same time everyday, but sometimes I need to work and other times I get to sleep...if I took risperdal at the time when I need to work, I'd be a zombie, lol.

We had a meeting on Monday and my purse accidentally got knocked over and a ton of stuff fell out of it, including an old box of saphris (I used to be on saphris) that I never got rid of. One guy helped me clean it up, so he must have saw. I kept obsessing that he would think I stole the saphris from the patients to sell on the street, and that he was going to tell my boss that I had it and he would fire me. I know more likely he just knows now that I deal with some of the same problems as our patients. Hopefully that doesn't change his view of me. This coworker that helped me put my purse back together is really attractive, and I'd like to get to know him.

I'm debating talking with my boss about getting out of driving the company van. Every now and again, someone with my job title has to go out in the van and pick up a patient, or get medication from the pharmacy, or something of that nature. I barely feel comfortable driving my own car, let alone a big, clunky, unfamiliar van. I think I'm going to have to tell him that I have a bad phobia of driving and that driving the van would cause me severe anxiety. I will also mention the fact that I have no depth perception due to strabismus, and that I have hit 3 cars in parking lots in the past year (which is a big part of the reason why I have so much anxiety around driving to begin with). I'm just nervous, because my boss is a super intimidating guy. He is very difficult to read, and he can get angry about things that seem unreasonable to be upset about.