i have BPII as some of you may know, and no, that alone doesn't make someone completely defective, or doesn't have to. But combined with my issues, and current pressures from medical problems i really believe i am defective. i am having "issues" at work now. i called my employment worker and begged her to find me something else. She is proving to be useless so far.

Things are tense enough with one of my supervisors now that i am making mistakes and generally f-ing up all over the place which of course increases the tension. i haven't loved the job from the start, and it's really against my doctors' advice that i work there anyway. But i need a job.

i am not doing well. i have been convinced it has been hormonal, but i don't know. Maybe i have been wrong and i am getting sick again.

can't understand people. can't understand detailed social interaction. i am defective. i can't work. i haven't held a job longer than six months. i am new in my city and i have rellapsed into my social phobias and have yet to make any real friends.

i suck.