Yes, sorry, my post was a muddle. Didn't want to trigger anyone, also didn't want to suggest that something had happened...though it did...

In my therapy, when I talk about stuff that happened when I was younger with a much older family friend, a couple of times my T has called me out for being manipulative (she does it v nicely!) because, basically, I know that what I'm saying happened is abusive, but I say that it's not. Now I'm so worried that by asking what is obviously a stupid question that I know the answer to (except I don't ) she will call me on it again, and I don't know if I can cope with that.

So maybe what I'm saying is, you're right, I have to be manipulative to get a need met, and that need is for someone to tell me the truth until I can hear it. But I feel so fragile about it, I can't cope with having to defend myself...