As far as cheating - as many point out - since they got engaged we have stopped kissing and holding hands (for the most part). We still spend endless hours together. She "never" says that she loves me anymore - avoids it because she is "trying" to be faithful and dedicated. Unfortunately he is {not a jerk, but} not committed to her - not interested in making her part of his family, avoiding contact between her and his grown children, making family time separate from her time, telling her things like "you borrowed my (whatever) - i'd like it back" ... She probably isn't in love with him so much as she is obsessed with making "IT" work ... prove everybody wrong ...as I said at some point - he is closer to her age - more acceptable socially and in the community (where we are both very active and prominent). I look much younger than I am - (as does she, but) she is 8 years older than me. She also doesn't want to be viewed as another link in his long chain (of women) ... it's a mess. (If I seem less desperate and dying today it is because we have spent many many hours together this week - and she did "accidentally(?)" slip an "I love you" out yesterday ...) Gimme a couple of days ... I'll be Dazed and confused again!