I have T later today and I'm having a crazy feeling of anxiety like I need to cancel. I've never canceled at the last minute. I know I'll go in and be a big mess and not be able to talk coherently or keep my emotions in check. Then I will leave feeling even worse and the waiting for another week to see her will be excruciating. It's like I need to guard myself by not even going in today. I know all this will happen and I hate leaving and feeling worse and then having to wait another week only to have it happen all over again. My life is such a fricken mess right now and there's too much to process and try to talk about. I don't know what to do.