Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Worth It
A call and/or a text once a week is not needy or clingy. Needy and/or clingy would be a bunch of calls/texts in a row if she doesn't answer right away.
If you don't initiate some, she will think you're not interested enough. Call her/text her and guage her responsiveness. If she's responsive and seems enthusuastic, go with that. If she seems to not be talkative or responding slowly or briefly, back off a little bit. It's about balance.
I have and am currently in a long term relationship with someone who is emotionally "stunted"/has a fear of intimacy. I have handled the situation the way I've described to you my two posts. It has taken us a year to really get down to the "nitty gritty" but there has been enough for me to keep moving forward with him.
You need to take care of yourself during this time first and foremost so as to keep your own emotions and expectations in check which in turn will "help" her come out more for you if she does want that.
I'm sure you understand where she is in her head since she has been abused. Trust and safety will be paramount to her ability to be a good partner to anyone.
A call and/or a text once a week is not needy or clingy -- And,if she is moody or thinks even that is clingy/needy, etc. then there is something else going on with her or maybe she just hates talking on the phone and texting. Some people don't really like that very much anyway. You could inquire about that in a casual, light way.
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We text daily, and call rarely. I'm very thankful for your feedback. It has really eased my mind.
If I don't hear from her after I text, I just leave it alone and let her do her thing. I'm not a creeper, lol. (Step one in the "how to be a creeper" handbook, deny being a creeper, lol! (I crack me up))
You must have a ton of patience; I'm not sure I could handle a year of being shut out like this. A few months, sure, but let me in just a little. I guess she has. She leans on me for "adult" decisions and has told me that she needs me. Though I'm not sure if it's because of the age gap or because she truly needs my help.