Quote:
Originally Posted by Komfortable
We text daily, and call rarely. I'm very thankful for your feedback. It has really eased my mind.
If I don't hear from her after I text, I just leave it alone and let her do her thing. I'm not a creeper, lol. (Step one in the "how to be a creeper" handbook, deny being a creeper, lol! (I crack me up))
You must have a ton of patience; I'm not sure I could handle a year of being shut out like this. A few months, sure, but let me in just a little. I guess she has. She leans on me for "adult" decisions and has told me that she needs me. Though I'm not sure if it's because of the age gap or because she truly needs my help.
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I do have patience and some professional experience with these situations which is the only reason I would have gone down the road this far with him. And, he has not completely shut me out for the past year either. There have been enough periods where he's felt comfortable enough to share with me on a very deep level, so I know he's capable of that. If there had been no "indicators" of that, I would have been gone a long time ago. There is no guarantee ever no matter how much you know or understand. The fact is that these people are the way they are for way longer than we have known them and, for me at least, longer that I will ever know him likely. I'm 56, he's 62. All we, you and I can do, is take it one day at a time, take care of ourselves, be understanding and a source of trust, stability, and security for them and for ourselves and let them take what they need as they are ready.
And, when I say, let them take what they need, that doesn't mean that they just take without giving either. We could very easily be walked on by these kinds of people as well. But, for sure, in the early days, you will be giving much more than they give you. At some point, you do need to ask for something from them. They don't get a free ride.