Damajdancer, this is a difficult thread for me to reply to…I am angry and yes, it does bring up bad memories for me. The same thing happened to me—I was given alcohol and pot and then raped. At the time, I felt somewhat responsible because I did not say no. I sure did not want to tell anybody about it. Also, I did not want to get the person in trouble—I just wanted to forget about it. So, I kept it a secret and I believed I was responsible…the longer I kept it a secret the harder it got for me to deal with—it became a contributing factor to a suicide attempt. This impacted how I developed sexually…it affected how I felt about myself. As I look back on it now, I know I was not responsible. What happened was rape. I was 14 and I was raped by a 33 year old. I tell you this because I want you to know you are not alone. I want you to know I understand what you are feeling. Please, tell somebody. PM me if you ever want to talk about it.