I know I need therapy. But there are so many things preventing me. 1- the thought of opening up to someone like this IN PERSON gives me such anxiety that even thinking about it makes my heart beat a million miles a minute!! 2- I am not ready to talk about these issues with my husband, and there is no way I can have paperwork for a therapist go through my insurance without him seeing it. So then I will have to tell him I am going to see if therapist and then he will ask why and then I will have to tell him when I'm feeling which is so scary and also gives me crazy anxiety. Finally 3- maybe there's a part of me that has a slight addiction to being this way in private. Maybe I'm afraid that the therapist is going to suggest I do things that make me uncomfortable as a way to help me overcome my fears and I don't know if I'm ready for that either. It's like on one hand I want help and I want to be normal meeting new people, socializing with my coworkers without feeling super uncomfortable or like everybody's judging me all the time, and I want to be able to communicate with my husband honestly. But on the other hand I like being in my little bubble.