I think I may hurt myself to feel something. To feel alive maybe? But what do you do when you can't feel the pain anymore? Me hitting myself in the face, or hitting something else is something I do on impulse. I do it to in a way, function.. But when I hurt myself just because like putting things out on my arm, burning myself, or choking myself those things are for the most part intentional, and I do them to sort of feel, and now I can't.