Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
They are engaged.
All of what you're saying about him? She doesn't care about it. Or she would have said no, and broken up with him. By getting engaged, he is including her into his family. By getting engaged, he is demonstrating a desire for commitment. She doesn't care about being in his line of women - or she would have said no and left.
She is using you for emotional gratification. If it's real love.... she wouldn't stay with someone else when there is NOTHING holding her there - and she only just recently furthered her connection with him by getting engaged.
Have you really thought about WHY she is "obsessed with making IT work" when she has someone else already who loves her? Why would she spend her time trying to make it work with him... if she didn't love him more than she loves you? It makes ZERO sense and you're unfortunately blinded to that, because you do love her.
Honestly... you deserve so much better. There are many women out there who would love you and NOT string you along like this just for the emotional gratification.
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Not blind (wish I wuz) ... I'm committed to her - hopefully more than she is committed to him ... does that make sense? I wait patiently for her to "see the light". It's not carved in stone yet.
Also, if she didn't care about being in his long chain of women, then they would have a good relationship, and I would have probably "bugged out" a long time ago. I do want her to be happy - she isn't when she is with him ... It upsets her very much - and all the bad stuff (there is more) came to light after more than 6 months together. She realized that he was hiding stuff from her - and lying. They haven't been engaged very long, but she waited "with baited breath" to hear him ask. She has admitted that she is in love with someone who isn't there - she fell in love with an image - which it turns out he is far from (I'm partially at fault, because I told her that he was a descent guy, oops).
I appreciate all the comments and observations - now - take into account that she has been widowed and without a man for 7 years - then the two of us showed up at almost the same time (I was there as a friend first too). Each with his particular problems and particular benefits.
He is free - I've got a year to wait for full freedom! She can freely socialize with him - Me - not so much, yet we "date" more than they do. We listen to music, read poetry and blubber to it! We get soaked in the rain and laugh. Her dogs and cats love me, sit all over me, snuggle with me ... they tolerate him from a distance. Finally to put perspective on it ... her children are over 30. So we ain't spring chickens anymore! ...she just texted ... going to meet for a coffee and a bite after work. I love her so much (BTW my kids are very fond of her too!)
