I think I get where you are coming from (but correct me if I'm wrong) Do you want to downplay the whole thing in the hope that she will then have to convince you that it was abuse? I have wanted to do this too, because at least then if T had to convince me that it was, it takes away the risk of not being believed or even being blamed.
I have often felt I was being manipulative for wanting to act this way, because if I was braver I'd just come out and say it. Instead I'm trying to pretend I'm not sure so that the certainty comes from someone else, validating me. But underneath all of this I am actually really unsure!
Even though I feel that acting this way would be manipulative, if my T actually thought that too and said this to me, there is no way I would be asking that question either! But I don't think it's a stupid question and I can totally understand why you need to ask it. I think if I was you I would have to discuss this manipulative thing