Lately I think my anxiety has pushed my depression aside. I don't feel the misery of depression so much anymore... I'm kind of numb in that aspect. However, my anxiety and OCD is through the roof. The worst time of day is at night. I can't help but (severely) worry about EVERYTHING. I know it's normal for everyone to worry about things.. but this is so far from normal. Sometimes it gets to the point where I get hot flashes and my heart starts to beat faster and faster. I panic to think that I'm going to suffer with these feelings forever. It feels like I'm suffocating.

Throughout the years my OCD has gone up and down and for awhile it wasn't so bad. Lately however I'm feeling a lot of urges to repeatedly do certain things again... some are even new. Probably the biggest one is having to touch the center of things... and a lot of times it's things that are out of my reach so it'll drive me crazy; I'm constantly looking over my shoulder too... even if it's just a wall behind me; I'm always looking into the top corner of rooms (which is probably the most noticeable since people ask me what I'm doing all the time); and as always I'm counting everything. I'm so tired... I just want to relax and live peacefully. I can't even sleep because it's always broken and I constantly have nightmares. Sometimes I think I'd rather just deal with the depression instead of anxiety and OCD...

Sorry to ramble on so long... I'm going to be 'out of town' for a week or so, but I would still really appreciate any comments anyone has to say... and I'm going to try to check in as much as I can.