I've been thinking about my weird feelings for the pastor, it's something similar like t because christians used to talk to their pastor about difficulties in their life and ask for suggestion or help or prayer.
When I first saw that pastor he reminded me of my t and when I talked to him it sometimes felt like I talk to my t, when I felt broken because of t I sometimes saw him and it helped me if I talked to him for 5 minutes. When i talked to him I felt confused and anxious because he remind me so much my t but that pastor moved away and I was little bit sad because I thought he is awesome person.
After year I met him at one event, sure I was happy, he was nice and kind to me as always but I always was worried he thinks something bad about me, I know we don't know each other but we all have opinion about people we are talking to at the moment. He is on my fb and sometimes he likes my pics which makes me feel so happy. I always told myself that I like him only as a person, i always know he reminds me of my t but on that event I thought about him all the time and my heart was beating too fast.
After that event we didn't see each other and I didnt think about him but now after half year I saw him and I'm not even sure it was him but I started to think of him and I long to see him so much, I even don't have a reason to talk to him but I'm walking on the streets hoping I could meet him there knowing he is not living there and I think it's very weird what i feel, I am completely sure that these feelings are not real, I don't know him and he reminds me of another person, I feel so unproductive, I feel crazy, I know it wouldn't be good for me if I met him.