LittleMouse, I hope you will take it slow and don't pressure yourself to terminate before you are ready. (((hugs)))

I was reading online about the different stages of psychotherapy and read something that was comforting to me about termination:

"It is also important for the patient to realize that the healthy parts of the therapeutic relationship have been assimilated into his or her identity. This means that although there is physical separation (therapy ends), the relationship continues in the self-structure of the patient."

I really liked that. It means that when I terminate, T will still be with me, integrated into my self. I love that.