Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwen_78
So, here is what I wanted to say about how I think it gets easier...
I had the dx of ADD around the age of 7-8 and it was lot because I wouldn't sit still in class in 1st grade. My mom put me into a few sports growing up like Softball and the real reason it wasn't a good fit was I would stand out in the outfield playing with the dirt, waving at other people and just plan not focused on what was going on, same with soccer.
Once I got medicated I'm not sure how well it worked. I was doing better in school I mean my parents held me back a year after 1st grade because they thought I "could do better" I had a D in 1st grade. I was usually a C-D student but I was hyper focused on myself and running. In junior high and high school I run cross country... now that was something I wa good at.
At the age of 19 I came off my medication for many reason and feel into a deep depression for 6 months. I'm now 36 and have handled life fairly well and do still find it hard to keep but not make connections. Maybe it's because easier on myself because I've accepted that I might never had a deep friendship type connection with anyone but I've found ways to be out in public by myself and enjoy it. Like I've good at kinds listening to what is going on around me, yeah a bit ease dropping but why do the lady at the next table speak load enough that people three tables down can hear her. Now, I don't listen to them just because my brain is doing 2-4 things at a time and they just happened into the trap and I don't let then see it.
I usually don't pay other peoples chat any attention and sometimes I just find myself listening. I mostly shy away as I know that I do it and they also seem super fake in my area. The chat they make seems all the same about how people are meant to act social and how someone is wrong because they perfectly happy being closed off from others.
You are who you are and any friendships you make you should make because the person likes you for you. If they don't it's their loss!
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Thank you so much for sharing all of that and taking the time to reply, that must of brought back a flood of memories and emotions writing this all out. I never knew ADHD could have such an impact on daily life i applaud you for being able to manage it so well, from what i have read anyway you seem like a lovely person. It is easy for people to become bitter and resentful going through all that especially from a young age not being able to focus on soccer, softball etc.
I don't blame you for not wanting to fathom why people can be so harsh and judgemental. I think people who are confident and happy within themselves don't always need friends as it can cause depression, upset etc. Less people less drama maybe it's good for you to be comfortable as you are to be able to be the best you can be and may help with depression.
Maybe going to social clubs or events that you can mingle with others but at the same time don't need to be conformed to any friendship/relationship.
I couldn't agree more and i read somewhere that you're like the 5 people you are closest too. So others literally impact on you, people like that i stay away from cause being a sheep gets you nowhere it's always the unique people that are successful so take no notice of people like that.
Hopefully you'll find someone that will bring you out of your shell, i have friends that try to bring the best out of me and vice versa. Tearing people down cause they don't fit the "normal" mold is pathetic so i completely agree with you not wanting to bother with people like that
Thank you for teaching me that it is really helpful thank you
Claire