Hi Mandyfins,
See if my expereince relates:
In my fam.of origing, my mother was shameless, probably narcissistic, everthing and everyone was only as good as they met her values, and she had no conscience or awareness of how she treated others.
I became shame based. Paralysed or undermined by shame for much of my life. Now I see it as - I took on her shame that she didnt own. I was so invaded by her and wanted to dissociate myself from her behaviour, so I went to the opposite extreme, I acted 'underentitled' ..

I stayed hooked in abusive situations.

So, it was like I acted out the disowned role in the family.

What I have now learnt, about the schizoid pd, is the origins are very particular, different to Ns and other disorders, in that we become like psychic char ladies, that is we are sort of hoover up the left over jobs that no one is doing, and one of those can often be to take responsibility, so, we take responsibility all over the place, we get invaded by others behaviour etc, even accidental. Tttthis is like a kind of reverse to narcissism. It has a kind of completely different motivation and feeling about it.
It seems more delicate and caring, and senssitive, not like the Ns who are like kind of steam rollers, quite opposite.

That is how I have come to understand this. I also feel pain and responsibility. I have felt an impulse to apologise for my sisters behaviour for exammple. Now, for my recovery, I have to take responsibility to not absoarb others disowned stuff, and I feel like I'm only at the beginning, I often feel weak and empty, but thanks for listening, I think its helpful for me to express this, hope it is some help to you.

RiveX ps, comp keeps getting stuck so i cant correct the mistakes.