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Originally Posted by defeated11
My SO (has been for almost 5 years) is suffering from depression for a long time. I have relapsed into depression a couple years back. We try to keep it together. Me specifically.
There are times when things just seem to collapse. Usually around the same time of the month, i'm sure you know what i mean. This is that exact day. She is saying she wants to break up. I know better than to suggest that this is her PMS talking but i'm running out of ideas. She is adamant that this isnt working, that i'm not the one for her and vice versa. Thing is, this is the exact same argument we keep having just about every month. A few days later, all is well. But she doesn't want to wait. She doesn't want to consider that things are not always this bad. She wants it to end, right here and now.
I've been especially stressed (anxious, sad, tired, etc) for some days now and i'm not sure i can hold it together this time. We live together so even giving it time means splitting up and that's a line that once we've been through, it'll be hard to come back from.
I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell her. I should be going home right now but i'm clueless as to what i should say / act / do. Please help.
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Call her "bluff". Tell her something like "I love you and I think we have something worth saving and working together on. But, if this is the way you feel, and you've said it often in the past, I will accept it and move on". Tell her you will pack your things and go elsewhere and do just that. You do not have to accept this kind of behavior from her. If you keep letting it slide without consequences, she'll use it over and over again. This is hurting you and it's abusive.
You then tell her you would be willing to discuss reconciling in 30 days. Then you will meet to discuss the changes that need to happen and make a determination. She will need to get a grip on her monthly "issues", that's for sure.
giving it time means splitting up and that's a line that once we've been through, it'll be hard to come back from. -- you have been dealing with this for quite some time. "Splitting up is a line that once you've been through, it'll be hard to come back from" -- it will be much harder to stay in this situation forever . . .
She is behaving like a child and there needs to be consequences. Be the grown up and draw a line.